With the Stars and Us - Chapter Eight

Author's Note: Warning for depression and mentioned character death.

Despite how the weather grew cold enough for frost to decorate the sleeping trees and browning grass in the early mornings, Mary felt warm. Liquid warmth and joy pumped through her veins as the last scrunchie was twisted into her hair. It was impossible for her to wipe the smile off her face as she looked into the mirror.

Luna stared back at her in the reflection of the mirror. A satisfied smirk split itself across her round face. “I knew you’d look cute with twin tails!”

“Ah, yeah…” Mary mumbled. Her hair had been pulled into two low pigtails with a thick braid weaved in the middle of them. It wasn’t the most adventurous look. Mary always wore her hair tied into a braid after all. But it was hard to deny how different but similar it looked. “When… you brought it up, I, ah, thought you were suggesting ones like yours–”

Luna’s cheeks puffed out. “Pfft, if you really wanted those, I’d give them to you… but this fits your vibe more. You should let me add in some cute clips though, I’m sure I got some, like, academia themed stuff somewhere.”

Mary jumped up from Luna’s seat. “Ah! N-no, that’s not necessary… I mean, you’ve already spent so much time styling my hair for me… B-besides… the cute look fits you better, Luna.”

“You and Candace are no fun!” The smaller girl huffed before flipping her pink curls over her shoulder and flashed a smile. “Though, I guess you’re right.”

The older woman giggled before looking at the clock. “Oh, I should… Go now. Th-thank you for your help.”

“It’s fine! Now, get out of here already!”

Mary shuffled out of the tailor shop and down the road. The fall breeze nipped at her cheeks and through her black tights almost instantly. She paid it no mind. Nothing could bring her down. Not today. Not only had she been on cloud nine, she had been dancing on it for the last two weeks!

To say that the work on the encyclopedia was going well this season was an understatement. Another rainbow had graced the skies, though one could only see it in the horizon, and suddenly Angela was able to get plant life from the Gull Islands, a place that was only reachable from a boat at one point. She was able to bring in more business with her crops which meant more seeds and plants from other towns and regions. She even brought things to them from Toucan Island. Though, that was less of a mystery. Everyone was able to go to the tropical–was that the right word for it? Mary wasn’t sure–since the seas calmed down.

Regardless, their work was going well and Jin wanted to celebrate.

There was only so much you could do in Waffle Town without any festivals going on but Mary didn’t mind. He asked her to lunch. She graciously accepted… maybe a little too eagerly for her liking. He laughed at her reaction and she felt like he could fry an egg on her cheeks with how hot she felt.

“Why don’t we meet at the Sundae Inn after your father’s illustrations for the book come in?”

So, here she was.

All dolled up and waiting in front of the hotel. Her new teal dress billowed in the wind as it whipped through her slightly curled pigtails. The sound of her heart throbbing drowned out the cries of the seagulls that still hadn’t left for migration. It wasn’t enough to drown out her thoughts, however.

There was no denying it.

She liked Jin. Romantically.

When did she start liking him? She wasn’t sure. He was an attractive man, she had felt that way about him since she met the man in the spring. He wasn’t normally what she went for. Not that Mary really ‘went’ for anyone regardless of their appearance. She was always too nervous to try. She didn’t know how to explain her ‘type’ if she had one.

Gray was her type. Or so she thought.

Her heart twinged at the thought but it wasn’t as bad as before. Guilt tried to wriggle its way into her still aching heart. Not out of mourning but… over not liking him. Well, not liking him as much anymore anyway. It was possible that all those feelings would come springing back if she were to visit home and see those big, almost robin’s egg blue eyes in person again.

Jin was different.

The two men were similar in some regards. Both were introverts who struggled with sharing their emotions and had horrible handwriting. She snickered at that thought. Gray was hot like the metal he worked with despite how shut off tried to make himself. He wore his heart on his sleeve. Jin was cool in every sense of the word. Save for the occasional outburst–like when she had gotten hurt in the mines–or how flustered he’d get after laughing at a possibly inappropriate moment, he kept his emotions in check. That didn’t mean he was completely shut off though. There was a genuine kindness under all that professionalism he desperately tried to keep up. She thought about what Elli had said about him when she first came to the island.

Dr Jin was married to his work.

This was true but did anyone, aside from her, bother to spend time with him outside of medical needs? Well, there was Anissa. She wasn’t sure how she felt about Anissa. The two of them were friends. She liked to hang out around the clinic after her chores at the family warm were done. In fact, she’d stay there the whole day when it was closed. What was their relationship?

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know.

Mary sighed and looked up into the sky. In the corner of her eye, she could see the oranges, yellows, reds and browns of the changing leaves in the trees. The scent of autumn was heavier than ever. It was strange how refreshing and clean the scent of plant decay could be.

The sound of footsteps against cobblestone caught her attention. She turned towards the sound. Her chest swelled at the sight of Jin who gave her a wave. She swallowed.

“Oh, Mary, you could have gone in without me–” His words were suddenly cut off once he was close enough to actually see her. She felt his eyes bounce across her. Her face heated up as his gaze lingered on her dress. Did it not suit her? Did her hair not suit her either? Finally, his eyes met hers and he gave her a small smile. “You look lovely.”

Mary’s lips twitched into a lop-sided smile. “Th-thank you.”

“I… honestly feel underdressed at the moment,” he said with a laugh.

She shook her head then stared at her shoes. “N-no! Y-you’re not. I promise. You usually dress so, ah, nicely anyway. I’m… actually quite fond of your purple ensemble if I’m being honest.”

Another chuckle left him. “I see, I’ll… have to remember that for next time. Shall we go in?”

Save for the employees, the restaurant was empty. Even from the entrance, Mary could see Maya and Kathy behind the counter of the bar. Their eyes locked with hers as Jake led them to their table.

“Let me get that for you, Mary,” Jin murmured as he pulled out a chair for her. When she slipped into the chair, the sound of Maya’s squealing could have shattered the water glasses hit her ear drums. Her neck snapped towards the two blondes. Kathy smacked a hand over Maya’s mouth and yanked her backwards. Steam blew out of the brunette’s ears. Jin blinked and threw a glance towards the kitchen. “I wonder what that was about.”

“I-I have no idea,” Mary lied with a cough. “Sh-she might have dropped something.”

“I hope she’s alright…”

Jin got his answer once Maya bounced towards their table with a pen and tiny notebook in hand. “Hiii~! What can I get you two looooovebirds?”

Mary’s hands clapped over her eyes. She didn’t even care that she’d be smudging the lenses of her glasses! She heard Jin cough and sputter. Oh Goddess, this was not how she wanted their first date–wait, was this even a date? Her blood ran cold.

She liked him but how did he feel about her?

Her hands trembled as she peeked at him through the gaps of her fingers. His lips were pursed in a tight line, much like his eyebrows which were furrowed tightly together. A blush crept up his neck. What did that mean? Even if he liked her and this was a date, there was no doubt that this would embarrass anyone! She swallowed as she dropped her hands in her lap.

“Ah, um… I-I’ll get–”

“...I'll have–”

“Oh, y-you can order, erm, you can order first, Jin.”

A smile forced itself across his face as he shot her a possibly appreciative look. Something was off. He wasn’t one to actually show his teeth when he smiled unless he was laughing. Mary’s stomach twisted itself into dozens of knots. Beads of sweat formed at the crown of her head and back of her neck and threatened to roll down at any second.

Was he just embarrassed?

Or…

Had she completely misread his invitation?

He had shown up in his regular clothes after all…She slumped in her seat as he made his order. There was a shakiness to his voice that normally wasn’t there. Longer pauses between each word. There was definitely something wrong. There was something wrong the minute he walked up to her. He probably didn’t think too much of her in a new dress but the hair… The hair totally gave her away.

“Mmmmkay, meu… Fish thing and herbal tea! How about you, Mary? You look so pretty today by the way. Doesn’t she, Doctor?”

Mary groaned.

“...Y-yes, she does… Erm, M-Mary… why don’t you order?”

“R-right… I, um, omelet rice sounds good… and an herbal tea, if that’s alright.”

She felt Jin’s eyes on her. “...F-feel free to order anything you’d like. Don’t… don’t hold back on my account. This, ah, this was meant to be a celebration… after all…”

“Ooooh, what kinda celebration? Wait, I got it! It’s you two getting toge–”

Mary’s head once again snapped itself to glare at her friend. Couldn’t she read the room?! What was going on?!

“MAYA!” Kathy called out.

“Excuse me! Be right baaack!” Maya practically sang as she went back to the kitchen.

“I-I’m so sorry–” Mary stammered. “I… I think she’s just–”

“It’s… ah, it’s fine. I, erm, guess I can’t blame anyone for… assuming things. We have been spending a lot of time together…” He muttered. His voice was barely above a whisper. If the table was just a little wider and sat them further apart, she might have not heard him. Not without leaning over the water glass and bread basket anyway. “I apologize.”

She sucked in a deep and shaky breath. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes as he confirmed the worst. ‘Oh well.’ It wasn’t like she wasn’t at least a little prepared for it… still, it hurt. “N-no, you don’t need to… ah… apologize. Did… you want to call things off?”

“No. It’s fine,” he said. Another apologetic smile spread itself across his lips. “Let’s… just…” A pause and then a deep breath. His eyes closed for a second before opening them again to give her that slight, hidden smile he normally gave. It didn’t quite reach his eyes. “A little awkwardness won’t hurt anybody. Order whatever you like. You can even get a dessert if you wish.”

Mary forced a smile of her own. “...I-if you insist… Though, I’m only getting the, ah, apple pie if you get a slice too.”

“...I’m more of a cake kind of person, actually… But, I’ll take you up on that.”

The sound of heavier footsteps, the kind that came from thick soled boots, and the faintest jingling of spurs after each step pulled the two out of their conversation. There stood another blonde at the table. Kathy grinned. “Sorry about that, Maya had to… take care of something for her parents. So I’ll be taking over, is that alright for you two?”

Mary sighed in relief. Kathy was the more sensible out of the two blondes. There was no doubt that she’d be able to read the atmosphere between her and Jin. “Y-yes, of course. Um… Omelet rice and pineapple juice. Oh, and, um, afterwards… an apple pie.”

“The whole pie or just a slice?” Kathy asked. A second passed before she let out a laugh. “I’m just joking. Yeah, we can do that. How about you, Doc? You want a slice too?”

“Yes, actually. Mary convinced me.”

“You’re a bad influence, Mare! First it’s the pies then it’s… I can’t think of anything. Well, I’ll get your orders to you as soon as possible. Enjoy the rest of your date!”

Mary felt all the color drain from her face. All pigment might as well have oozed out of her pores and turned into dust the second it hit the air. She wanted to cry. She was already pretty close to it before Jin had dropped the unfortunate news!

Silence hung between them. It wasn’t the comfortable kind that was normal for them. The scent of ketchup fried rice and fried fish wafted through the air. A strange combination. One that Mary wasn’t sure she liked. She was absolutely sure that this was a mistake, however. She was also sure that she could hear her friends whispering in that tiny kitchen with how quiet it was. She didn’t want to hear it.

The only break from the dead silence was when Kathy brought the two of them their drinks. His hands shook violently as he brought the cup and saucer to his lips. He grimaced at the taste but continued drinking it anyway.

“...A-are you okay?” She finally asked.

Jin sighed. “I… I wish that I could say yes. I’m sorry, Mary. There’s… a, erm, a lot on my mind.”

“It’s okay.”

“I was looking forward to today. I-I’m not used to… being the center of attention.”

Mary slowly nodded and put down her juice. “I… Yeah. It’s bothering me a little as well…” Her eyes flickered to the door behind her and then to the kitchen once again. “...Feel… feel free to say no but…”

“Hm?”

“...If. If you’d still like to have lunch with me, why don’t… why don’t we get our lunch to go?”

He thought for a long moment… and then nodded. “That sounds… that sounds nice. Let’s do that.”

Both of them got up and went to the bar counter. An embarrassed Maya hopped towards them and heard them out. She nodded and told her grandmother and Chase to not bother plating the orders and to pack them up instead. As they waited for their takeout, Jin turned towards Mary. “Where would you like to go? I don’t mind opening up the clinic.”

“...Would… would you be opposed to us eating at your house? It’s… a bit closer than my home. I don’t mind the clinic, it’s just…” She tugged the end of one of her pigtails and shot him an apologetic look. “...I’d. I’d rather have our day off be an actual day off, if that makes sense.”

She watched as he rolled the idea in his head. He bit his lip and crossed his arms. Chase stepped up to the counter and dropped the large paper bag in front of them. “Meuniere is best fresh. Don’t let it sit in the container for too long. Enjoy.”

Finally, Jin nodded. “That’s fine with me.”

"Apologies for the mess," the man said as he opened the door for her. "I… don't have company over very often, aside from Popo–my grandmother."

Even if it was confirmed to be purely platonic at this point, Mary couldn't help but feel nervous. Nervous and giddy. This was the first time she had visited his home. It was different from visiting Gray's room that day as he shared it with Cliff and the merchant whenever he was in town. There wasn't any chance for intimacy then. Not that there was any chance for that sort of thing now, of course.

His home was laid out similarly to hers.

Though, she wasn’t too focused on that. As the lights in the house came on and their food was placed on the table, Mary noticed all the photographs hanging from the walls and just how… clean it was. If one were to inspect things closely, they would see a thick layer of dust that caked the top surfaces of the picture frames or the shelves full of knick-knacks that Mary was surprised to see in his house. Gemstones, sometimes carved into tiny figurines that would have fetched a pretty penny despite their size and small chunks that were still attached to the stone they jutted from, of various colors decorated the shelves. Small paintings, watercolors mostly but Mary recognized some were oil paintings, of various landscapes, flowers that she didn’t recognize or had only seen pictures of in books and scenes that looked like they were torn out of fairy tales.

She blinked.

Did Jin create art? No, that couldn’t be the case. They wouldn’t have had so much trouble figuring out what to do with their book if that was the case. The thought of him slaving over a tiny canvas with the thinnest paint brushes to get the details of a Blue Magic flowers’ leaves just right was cute though.

He must have been a collector.

She didn’t take him for someone who liked traditionally… pretty things.

“The bathroom is on the opposite side of yours, if you need it,” he said with a faint laugh. “Dale reused the same two floor plans for the homes in this district if I recall correctly.”

“Oh, thank you. I’ll remember that if I need it…”

Jin once again pulled her chair out for her and pushed it in once she sat down. As she pulled the food out of the paper bag, he went and got the cutlery and glasses of homemade vegetable juice. She smiled to herself. He remembered.

"Your home is… it's really nice, Jin. I liked the piece hanging next to the door in particular. I don't think I recognize the artist… I've never seen anything like it at the festivals here. Could I ask who the artist is?"

"Oh, um…" He sighed and bit his lip. "I… I suppose I should–I'm sorry, Mary. I… I promise I’ll get into it after we eat. I’ll need… I’ll need to work myself up to it.”

“Oh…” She stared at her meal. “I-I’m sorry for bringing it up if it’s painful–”

“No. It’s…” A sigh left him. The weight of his gaze forced her to look up at him. His lips were curled into a lop-sided, wiggly smile, one that didn’t show his teeth so it looked slightly more natural than the smiles he gave her at the inn. It was something.

"It should have been something I told you a long time ago. You were so honest with me then. I know it… took a lot of courage. I know I… I said that I, ah," He sighed so hard that she wondered if it burned his throat. “...I said that I didn’t want to make things about me then. Wh-which was true. I didn’t want to unload my own issues onto you when you were already feeling so low. N-not that… I would have only brought it up to let you know that I could possibly understand how you felt. But, I also… I couldn’t… I couldn’t bring myself to.”

"Jin, if… If it's that painful to bring up. If it's hurting you, you don't have to tell me. It's alright. It means… It means a lot that you tried to tell me at all. "

He shook his head. "No, I want to. You're… you're a dear friend. One that I trust. I promise it's alright. I just. I just. Need more time to prepare."

Hesitantly, Mary reached over and touched the back of his hand. Her heart fluttered at the contact but she pushed those feelings out of her mind. Jin was more important than her crush. “...Thank you.”

“...For what?” he asked incredulously.

A soft sigh escaped her before she gave his hand a squeeze. “For trusting me with this. I… I really did mean it when I said that it meant a lot that you were trying. Even if… Even if you wind up being unable to tell me, I… I’m always here to listen. I care about you… I care about you so, so, so much.”

She could practically hear the lump in his throat as he swallowed. His free hand wiped at his eyes as the other gave hers a squeeze. “...Thank you. Let’s eat, Chase said this tastes best fresh, didn’t he?”

Mary smiled and nodded.

The meal itself was… awkward to say the least. Not that there was any doubt that it wouldn’t be. Even without the weight of Jin’s upcoming confession hanging over their heads, it was clear that Kathy and Maya’s comments earlier had an effect on the both of them. For possibly two very different reasons.

Mary’s gaze stayed on her food. It would have been better fresh and hot off the pan, she thought. The canary yellow omelet had kept the chicken and ketchup rice warm, thankfully. Still, it was good. Comforting. She half-considered asking Jin if he’d like to trade dishes as he clearly needed the comfort more than she did. Whenever she stole glances at the doctor, he was picking at his food. The crust of the fish filet had gotten soggy thanks to the steam trapped in the container. Despite the grimace he wore whenever his fork sank into the fish, he still ate it… after all the side vegetables had been finished.

“Did you want some of my rice, Jin? They gave me too much anyway.”

“I… It’s fine, thank you though…” He chuckled then sighed once more. “...I think. I think I can talk about… Do you mind if it’s… in the living room? If you’re finished eating, of course.”

She nodded. “I don’t mind at all… It’s, ah, it’s your home after all.”

On the way into the living room, Mary got a better look at the paintings and photographs on the walls and tables. Most of it was paintings like she had rightfully assumed… but something else caught her eye.

A photo of Jin wearing a green and white changshan–was that what that was called? It felt wrong to say–while standing next to a woman. Her long black hair was pinned back with her tight curls hidden behind a veil decorated in flowers. Her white dress was old fashioned, with its big, puffed sleeves and wide frilled collar that fanned out across her torso and shoulders. Her smile was radiant as was his.

Mary had an idea of what Jin was going to tell her.

It was hard to tear her eyes away from the photos. Of course, the one that she kept coming back to was the wedding photo but she’d always find something else. A tiny framed watercolor of Jin sat on the end table. A photograph of the woman on the beach made her heart stop. She stood on the shore, ankle deep in the water, and her modest dress hiked up to keep it from getting wet. Her hair whipped in the wind as she looked back at the camera. Her lips wore a shy smile as happiness shone in her dark eyes that were hidden behind a pair of round glasses.

As questions about Jin, this woman and herself spun in her mind, the two of them sat on that couch in silence. The ticking of the clock echoed throughout the house. Leaves from the sleeping trees fell from their branches and floated to the ground in yellow and orange fluttering cascades.

“I… I was married,” he said finally.

She nodded.

“Her name was Sabrina.”

“That’s a pretty name.”

He smiled. “It really is. It suited her so much.”

“That’s her in the pictures, right?”

He nodded.

“...Do you want to talk about her? I, ah, don’t mind listening.”

“I… haven’t talked about her in a long time.” A hand reached under his collar and slowly pulled out a silver chain necklace where three rings–two bands and a standard engagement ring with a pink diamond– dangled in the center. The pads of his fingers brushed along the pale pink gem in gentle circles. “I don’t know where to start.”

“...How did you two meet?”

He looked up at the ceiling and smiled as he recounted his memories. After medical school, he had taken residence in a new community, an island named Gyotamo. A community that was so new at the time that it didn’t have an actual doctor, just one that would come in from time to time from another community. He had come in a year after the town was established and had an official name. Sabrina was the daughter of a mining tycoon.

Mary sat and listened. Her heart ached as he told her stories about his wife, how they grew to know each other, how they fell in love and all the little things in between. Her favorite color was actually hot pink but she thought it didn’t look good on her. She absolutely hated curry, to the point where it seemed like an outright phobia. She smelled of pink cats and paint. He wasn’t the only one interested in her either. Somehow, he managed to win out over the local rancher and a cowboy with an alleged attitude problem. He laughed when he said the last part.

“Vaughn was fine in hindsight,” he said once he calmed down. “I think he just… didn’t know how to communicate. I don’t know how Sabrina dealt with him though. She must have brought out the sweet side of him.”

“She sounded really nice.”

“She was… You remind me a lot of her, actually. Not just because of your appearance and professions–though, when I found out what you did before moving here, I, ah, had a bit of a moment.”

“What do you mean?”

A sheepish smile spread itself across his face. “I… I wondered if I was dreaming or in a time loop. It was probably because of a film I had watched recently however. I’m not sure how much I truly believe in phenomena like that. It came back again when you started work at the town hall but I laughed it off. But, no, you two were similar. Artistic, soft-spoken, selfless…perhaps a little too selfless at times. Overall pleasant and an absolute joy to be around.”

Her cheeks heated up at the last part.

“Of course, you’re two different people as well. I can assure you… I wonder if you two would be friends if she was still around.”

“I’m not sure…” She shrugged. “We might be too shy to talk to each other.”

The two snickered over that.

“We moved to Waffle Island after we got married a year later. Regis was furious but Sabrina convinced him in the end to let her go.”

“What made you come back?”

“...My grandfather had gotten too sick to work. I know Gyotamo needed a doctor too but… what can you do. Perhaps it was a sign of what was to come…” He swallowed. “Sabrina had gotten ill soon after.”

Mary held her breath.

“I… I’m sure you can imagine what came next.”

“I’m… so sorry.”

“Five years ago. Six next summer.”

Five years. That wasn’t very long when you thought about it. Mary knew people who held grudges for twice as long. Five years was somehow several millennia long and could be over in a blink of an eye. She was sure that people would have told him to get over it as soon as two years after his wife’s passing. Some people were able to move on that fast. Others needed more time. Others never moved on and continued to mourn their lover’s passing until they died themselves.

She wasn’t sure what she preferred. Not that it mattered what she preferred of course. There was a selfish part of her that wanted him to get over it that second so she could be with him. It was a disgusting, tar-black worm. One she didn’t want to admit was inside her. Of course, she wanted him to stop hurting. Anyone with a heart would want that.

“I see,” she said finally. “Does… it still hurt?”

“It does. Not as much as it did back then. Things have been easier this year though.”

“Really?”

“I don’t know if it’s just because enough time has passed for me… Or if it’s because…” His eyes flickered from their shoes and then into her eyes. A faint blush, one that contrasted prettily against his ivory skin, blossomed across his cheeks, nose and up to the tips of his ears. “...Because of you.”

Warmth panged inside her chest. Butterflies swarmed and fluttered inside her chest and stomach. It was so much that she thought she was going to vomit. “Mmm…M-me?”

He nodded. “You might not… you might not think it, Mary, but your arrival here… It’s given me a reason to get out of bed some mornings. Of course, I’d do it anyway because of my responsibilities. I can’t put it into words. You’re just… wonderful and deserve so much more than you think you do. This all probably sounds like lip service but it’s not. Before, I’d work nonstop so I wouldn’t have to think anymore. If I’m working, then I’m doing something worthwhile…”

“Jin…”

“Day in and day out, I was researching things. Looking for things to constantly reorganize. For a period of time, I was trying to start doing seminars at the town hall just for something to do… Obviously, it didn’t turn out. My grandmother thankfully talked me out of it. I eventually got sick myself, Anissa and my grandmother eventually pulled me out of it.”

“Anissa?”

He nodded. “She’s, of course, another person who means the world to me. I don’t… I don’t know where I’d be without her.”

Jealousy spun inside of her stomach. Deeper and deeper it bore into her soul. Why. Why did she have to be like this?

“I-I’m sorry… I, just, I just want to ask… Are you and Anissa–”

Jin grimaced. “Oh… Oh Goddess, no.”

She blinked at that response. “May… I ask why? Is it because of Sabrina?--”

He waved a hand in front of his face. “No, it’s, ah, it’s. I guess that was a part of it. I… can imagine that… maybe in another…” The waving of his hand grew faster, enough for Mary to feel a breeze against her face. “R-regardless, it’s, ah, not my. It’s not my story to tell. I assure you.”

Mary blinked. Then again. And again. Then…

“...I-is that why you, ah, wanted… her and I to be f–”

“N-no! I mean. If it happened then it happened… BUT, it was just. You two are friends of mine. I would… like… Anyway! What I’m trying to say is this… Mary, you mean so much to me. Our project together has given me motivation to actually do things instead of just… sleepwalking through everything. I admittedly… haven’t been taking the best care of myself.”

“You really… haven’t… if I’m being honest.”

He rolled his eyes. “Thank you. Some of these bad habits still linger. I’m sure Sabrina would be upset with me if she was still here. I know it upsets Popo and Anissa… and you, I imagine. When you were feeling low during the summer, it reminded me of myself after her passing. I’m sure everyone understood why I was the way I was… but it was unbearable. Miserable.”

“...T-time off stops being helpful after a while in cases like that, I imagine.”

“Yes, exactly. Being alone in this empty house that has so much of her on the walls… But I couldn’t bear to take any of it down or put it away. I would think about her constantly. I still… think about her… but…”

“But what?”

“...Over time, I stopped thinking about her… as in, she didn’t consume my every waking thought. I felt… immense guilt being a doctor who couldn’t help her.”

“I… I can’t imagine how awful that must have felt. I’m so sorry.”

“It was worse when Regis had her sent back to Gyotamo. He brought in so many doctors. The manor they lived in practically became a hospital for one patient. Then, well… I’m sorry, I…”

Mary shook her head. “Don’t be sorry. It’s okay.”

Jin stayed silent for a long moment. His shoulders shook as his hands gripped onto his pants so tightly that his knuckles were white. Slow, shaky deep breaths filled the room. She thought about hugging him at that moment but held back.

“...I haven’t been able to visit her since I came back. I wonder if she hates me for that. I wonder if she hates me for… not hurting as much anymore.”

“No.” Her tone was flat and firm. “She doesn’t.”

He blinked.

“I know for a fact that she wouldn’t hate you. I-I know I’m not Sabrina and I never will be–I don’t want to be her anyway. But… if I was her right now… I… I think…” She sucked in a shaky breath and grabbed his hand. Her own hands shook as she squeezed him as tight as she could.

“Jin, if she’s as kind and understanding and wonderful as you say, I think… I think she’d want you to be happy. She’d… want you to live your life… but in the best way. She’d want you to take care of yourself. Make sure you’re eating and sleeping and having fun. She’d want you to have friends… I-I can’t say much about… other kinds of relationships… but I think. Maybe I’d understand. You’re taking care of your heart. If I were Sabrina, I wouldn’t want you to feel guilty because you aren’t… because you aren’t suffering and punishing yourself anymore. If it hurts me to see you burning the candle at both ends every day and night and isolating yourself from everyone and thing… I can’t imagine how much it might be hurting her. But, this isn’t me saying that you have to be better just for her or for me or Anissa or even Irene… but because you deserve it. Y-you deserve to be happy and healthy and not feel bad for it.”

Hot and fat tears welled up in Jin’s eyes before rolling down his cheeks in steady streams. His body trembled. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. He squeezed her hand and tried to speak again–

A bright beam of light flashed across the island. Red, orange, yellow, green, blue and violet all sprang from the base of the tree by the pond and into the sky. Even from the inside and the angle Jin’s home sat at, it couldn’t be missed. The two jumped up from their seats and dashed out the door.

Another rainbow.

They gaped at the sight for what felt like hours. Even if it was the third one that returned, it was an incredible sight to behold. After a long moment, Jin squeezed Mary’s hand. With tears still in his eyes, he turned towards her and gave her a smile “...This… this might be silly… but…”

“But what?” She asked.

“...I… I wonder if that was Sabrina telling… telling me–telling the both of us that you’re right.”

She simply gave him a smile and nodded.

‘I know.’