With the Stars and Us - Chapter Five

Author's Note: Warning for depression/depressive episode. There isn't any self-harm or self-destructive thoughts but still.

Wake up.

Eat.

Work.

Sleep.

These were Mary’s days.

That bright, almost cyan, blue sky that was once refreshing and energizing was now so bright that it burnt Mary to a husk. The scent of Elli’s newest baked goods made her nauseous. Words, whether for her own projects or for work, blended together. It was all so monotonous. It irritated her. It soothed her. She didn’t know if she was thankful for it or not. When the new arrivals slowed to an eventual stop, the paperwork also stopped. It meant less work.

So, she found or made work.

The library upstairs was spotless. Every section was alphabetized and organized in such a way that it’d be nigh impossible to not find what you were looking for if you were able to read. New books were ordered. Old, seemingly useless books were sent away to be recycled or donated. Supply lists for the potential school house were prepared. Supplies for future festivals this and the next year were drawn up and ready to be ordered.

Soon, there wasn’t anything to do at the office.

Mary contemplated going to the other businesses to do part-time work. She didn’t but she thought about it. She just wanted more to do.

“Why don’t you go home for the day? I can take it from here.”

‘Please don’t send me home.’ “Are you sure?”

“Of course. You’ve been working like a dog, Mary. I couldn’t think of anything for you to do even if I wanted to. Please, go home and relax. You’ve earned it.”

‘I don’t want to. Please don’t.’

“Alright. Thank you.”

Aimlessly, she wandered the island. She wanted to go home but she didn’t. Those letters were still on her table. No, she had to work on the encyclopedia. She had to get notes. She had to get pictures. She had to get samples. It had been days.

Her body ached as her feet dragged across the cobblestone, gravel and desire paths. Cinder blocks were tied to her limbs. Her eyes burned and itched. Hunger panged in her stomach. Ugh, she should eat first. Did she have anything at home? Should she just go to the Inn and order something? Could she handle that?

As she sat at a table, she watched as Selena struggled to pay attention as Jake gave her yet another crash course in waiting tables. Maya rushed to take her order. A plain omelet and herbal tea.

“My grandma made a really awesome orange tart today! You should get some for dessert! It’ll be a good treat!” The blonde’s voice rang through the restaurant like a bell. Her eyes sparkled as rained praises upon her grandmother’s cooking. Normally, Mary would’ve found it endearing. Right now, she wasn’t sure how to feel. Maya, for as ditzy as she appeared to be, picked up on it. A soft yet sweet smile spread across her face. “Mmmm, no pressure though! Lemme know if you change your mind though, okay?”

Mary managed to flash a half smile in response.

It was only a few minutes before Selena came out with her order instead of Maya. The redhead swayed between the tables and spun on her feet. The clattering of the plate and mug on her tray apparently made Jake and Colleen nervous but Mary’s food made it to her in one piece. She guessed that she had to find a way to use her dancing talents in this tiny town somehow.

“Enjoy,” she said with a flip of her hair.

“Thank you. I will.”

It was alright.

Her tea went cold before she could finish half of it. As did her omelet. Her stomach no longer hurt from hunger and that was all that Mary cared about at the moment.

“Hey, hey, Mary! You don’t have to eat it right away, but take this home with you. I paid for it so don’t worry about it!” Maya chirped as she handed her a small carry out box. “Maybe put it in the fridge as soon as you get home so it’ll be good for when you want it, okay?”

Mary slowly blinked before taking the box. “Oh, sure. Thank you, Maya.”

“Feel free to say no… but you should come by when the bar opens! Me ‘n’ Kathy were talking about how we haven’t seen you around for a bit. It’s just something to think about.”

“...I’ll think about it. Thank you though.”

That soft smile was back on Maya’s face though it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Okay! If not, we can just meet up another time too!”

“Yeah. That sounds like it’d be nice.”

The next day, it was more of the same.

Maya’s orange tart sat on her table next to the stack of letters that still laid there. Its container opened but the treat inside was not sampled. Mary stared at it as if both were taunting her that morning as she tried to will herself to get ready for the day. Her eyes still itched. A sigh escaped her before she took a bite and left the rest then continued to get ready.

The old paperwork, some being dated from before Elli came to the island, in the Town Hall was organized. As was the library was once again organized much to Gill’s bemusement.

She was sent home early again.

She didn’t bother going to the Inn and just went home. The out of season lavender outside her window began to droop. The weeds that grew beside it and her herbs were the only things keeping it upright. Mary sighed. She’d water and weed things tomorrow. Once inside, her eyes laid upon her table like they always did.

She did not water or weed the garden.

Sunlight poured in through the window and into her heavy eyelids. Mary sighed and rolled over and tried to let sleep she both desperately needed and absolutely didn’t take over. Hours later, when the sky was blue and no longer pale yellow in shade, her phone rang. She didn’t get up. It rang again. She still didn’t get up. The third time, she finally got up and answered.

“Hello, Mary? Are you feeling alright?” Elli asked.

“Ah...I think it’s just the flu. I should be okay.”

“Mmmm, alright… I can’t recall if it’s been going around or not lately. Could it be stress related? Gill mentioned you seemed off the last few days. I’ll come by with soup or something later, is that alright? Make sure you drink lots of water and get some rest, okay?”

“...Alright.”

Mary walked back to bed and slept. When she didn’t sleep, she stared at the walls and ceiling and watched the colors melt and change with the sun. Once in a while, she’d let herself get up to use the washroom or nibble on something before sliding back into bed. She hated being like this. Why couldn’t she at least do something useful? Writing something, tidying up, watering her sorely neglected plants or going to work. These were all things she wanted to do.

Well, not necessarily. She knew she should.

Watering and weeding meant getting up from bed, getting undressed and putting clean clothes on and then going outside to do those things. Ugh, then she’d have to clean up her laundry. When was the last time she did that? That meant picking things up, sorting the colors, washing then drying and then putting it all away… And the dishes? When was the last time she did that?

It was all so much.

How could she go from being on top of everything to not even being able to pick up her socks?

It was pathetic.

Tears pricked at her eyes but she couldn’t be bothered to properly cry. Fat globs ran down her face and onto her pillow until she eventually fell back asleep.

The next day, she awoke to the sound of someone at the door. A groan escaped her. It was probably Elli with that soup of hers. She should get up. She wasn’t sure if she was actually going to eat it or not but it’d be rude to leave her there. Mary slid out of bed. Her stomach growled. Maybe she would eat a little.

She opened the door and blinked at the sight.

“Ah, Mary. It’s good to see you, ” Jin said with a smile. Tucked under his arm was a small crate, she wasn’t sure what was inside aside from some vegetables peeking out from the top, but it looked like it was a pain to lug all the way here. “Do you mind if I come in?”

Her stomach dropped. Suddenly, she was hyper aware of how heavy her hair felt with grease and how tangled it must have looked. Not to mention the fact she was in her nightgown still! “I..I’m… It’s a mess. I…”

“I don’t mind. You’ve seen my office after all.”

“...A-alright,” she said as she stepped to the side and let him in. She flicked on the light, the first time they had been on in the last few days. The sight of her house was an embarrassment. Dishes, wrappers and containers littered her counterspace and tables. The decorative plants she had inside had wilted. If he were to peek into her room, he’d see her laundry in a haphazard pile by the unmade bed. “I’m sorry…”

“Hm? Please, it’s okay. I’ll be honest, I came here to check on you. You hadn’t been to the office in a week and you didn’t look well when I’d see you around town. Elli mentioned you were feeling ill yesterday.”

“Y-yes, I must have come down with something…” Mary mumbled as she tried to clear her kitchen table of the garbage and the letters. Her stomach twisted as the names on each envelope rang in her head like a bell. She tucked the letters into a drawer. It didn’t feel right to throw them out even if a part of her desperately wanted to. “Please put that box here, Ji–Doctor.”

A small sigh escaped the man as he did so. The clattering of glass jars and vegetables thudding against one another inside the box filled the air. “It’s alright, Mary. You can just call me Jin. I’d… prefer it, in fact. We aren’t in my office or collaborating on our project at the moment, after all.”

“...I-is this not a house visit?”

He chuckled at that. “No, but would it make you feel more comfortable if it was?”

She shrugged. “I… I’m not sure.”

“I’m here as a friend, that’s all.” Jin shrugged off the lab coat he always wore and folded it over one of her chairs. “I assure you that I’m not saying this to be rude. I just want you to be more comfortable, I know it’d bother me if I was in your situation, but, did you want to get cleaned up before we start? I really don’t mind waiting for you.”

“W-what did you have planned?”

“Nothing much. I just thought we could chat and I’d cook something for you. I’m assuming you haven’t been eating very well the last few days. I could also help you clean, if you’d like.”

“Oh, I couldn’t–”

“Please. It’s no trouble at all.” There was an obvious hesitation as Jin stepped towards her. His hand floated above her shoulder for a moment. Then, he finally placed it there and gave her a gentle squeeze. That surprisingly familiar warmth once again blossomed inside of her chest. She lifted her head to look him in the eyes and felt her heart skip. “Let me help.”

”Mmmn… Alright, but, ah, only… Only if you really want to,” she said with a sigh. In all honesty, Mary felt a little put out but managed to force a smile. “I’ll… be right back. I’m a little embarrassed to be seen like this. I-I must look awful.”

“Most people do when they’re ill.” He paused then cleared his throat once he realized what he said. A faint pink that contrasted prettily against his pale skin dusted itself across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose. The sight made Mary’s heart flutter once again. “N-not that you look awful right now. You just appear to be tired. I think you’ll feel a little better once you’re clean. I’ll tidy up what I can in here–oh, actually,” he trailed off as he went to the box he brought in. His still shaky hands shifted through a few bottles as his glasses started to slip down his nose. With a satisfied sigh, Jin turned towards her and held out a small purple bottle and an even smaller square. That faint blush of his intensified in shade.

Mary blinked and took the two gifts. “Oh, what are these?”

“Perfume and soap that I’ve made. It’s… I’m hardly an expert on artisanal crafts and such. I wasn’t sure what scents you’d prefer but I went with lavender. It has a soothing effect for most when it comes to skincare, sleep and anxiety. Among other things, but we’re just going to keep it to the…” He stopped to push up his glasses. “I apologize for rambling. I also went with lavender because I recalled you were trying to grow them yourself when Angela agreed to give us samples of her crops.”

“I… I didn’t know you were into this sort of thing,” she said as she gently put down the perfume on the table. Her fingers traced over the plain paper packaging of the soap before peeling it away. It was plain and unassuming. A pale milky purple with a grayish tint. Flecks of what she assumed were lavender buds were lodged inside. The texture was smooth but had a bit of grit to it along the jagged and slightly lopsided sides which she assumed were from the knife he used.

“Like I said, I’m… hardly an expert. Anissa taught me a while back and is much better at it than I am. I keep telling her she should consider selling her goods at the art festival instead of just the flower one… Regardless, I made these for you. It’s fine if you don’t use them. Sometimes… it’s. Erm. I sometimes feel more inclined to take better care of myself when I have nicer things.”

“Thank you,” she whispered before picking up the perfume bottle. “I’ll go get cleaned up. I won’t be long.”

Jin nodded. “Take your time. I won’t be going anywhere.”

Mary was in the shower longer than she would have liked. Well, no, a quarter of her time in the bathroom was spent willing herself to get undressed. A man who wasn’t her father was in the house while she was nude. It was so silly to get worked up by something like this. She knew that. Still, her heart throbbed as she undressed herself with shaky hands. Eventually, she stepped under the water and let herself get properly clean for the first time in days. She hadn’t even meant to get this bad. How embarrassing. Her arms ached as she scrubbed at her scalp and her body but she continued. The scent of lavender and other herbs filled the room as she lathered herself with the soap. It definitely wasn’t a miracle cure but she couldn’t deny how… good she felt at that moment. Warmth from the hot water and the fact that a friend took the time to make such a thing for her when she was in such a state…

It filled her with something.

Did someone as selfish as her really deserve something as nice as this?

The reason why he was here was because she got upset over her friends getting into relationships after all. Not to mention Gray and his possibly still unnamed baby. He had put in all this effort and took time out of his busy day to see her… all because she was having a hard time accepting that things were changing. Well, everything but her was changing. She was still alone. No, she knew she had friends, new and old, who loved her. She wasn’t truly alone. Logically, she knew that. Still, seeing the world around her begin to move on without her.

‘Always the bridesmaid and never the bride.’

That was how the saying went, right? It seemed to describe her to a tee.

How long until her new friends on Waffle Island were going to start getting married? Would it hurt just as much even if she hadn’t known everyone–save for Elli–since childhood? People had lives before she came to the island after all. She saw glimpses of relationships during her time here. The way Chase and Maya would bicker, make up in an instant and more or less feed each other during their shifts. The looks and touches that lingered maybe a touch too long with Kathy and Owen over rice cocktails. How Jin and Anissa spent a lot of time to–

A knife twisted itself in her gut.

Why?

She sighed and finished washing her hair.

The only friend of hers she wasn’t sure was in some sort of relationship was Angela. But it felt wrong to say she wasn’t in one at all. As soon as Angela would come into the town hall, Gill would shoot up from his desk to assist her in any way… only to find out she was just giving him another risotto. Mary remembered him muttering about how he was getting almost sick of what was supposed to be one of his favorite foods. Then he’d be scarfing it down the next minute. Was there something there too? What was the deal with her and Toby, for that matter? They’d fish a lot together. Was that just friendship? She wasn’t sure.

Another sigh escaped her before she killed the water and squeezed out whatever she could from her too-thick and thankfully now clean hair. She toweled off and got dressed in clean clothes. It felt better. She couldn’t say why though. She still felt miserable but she did feel better.

Her eyes lingered on the small bottle of perfume on the counter. ‘Why not?’

A cloud of lavender and honey mist settled onto her skin and clothes. It wasn’t bad. She definitely probably smelled prettier perfumes before but there was something about this one that made her smile.

Once she left the room, the smell of miso and fish wafted through the air and cut through the humid air of the bathroom. The sound of something frying also hit her ears. Her stomach growled. She wasn’t sure if she could handle whatever it was Jin was cooking but she’d try. It’d be the least she could do for him.

“Good, you’re out. Food should be done soon,” Jin said as she stepped into the kitchen. He turned towards her, his brow slightly damp with either condensation from the soup or sweat, and tugged down his rolled up sleeves. An apologetic smile flashed across his face. “I’m sorry I didn’t wait to ask what you’d like. I went with hopefully lighter recipes so it’d be lighter on your stomach.”

“It’s alright. I-I like to think that I’m not very picky,” she said as she sat down at the table. Her eyes wandered across the surface to look for the letters out of habit. They weren’t here. Did he–No, she put them away. That was right. “...Wh-what did you make?”

The screeching of the kettle made the both of them jump. He dashed towards the stove and pulled it off the burner and then poured the hot water into one of her nicer tea pots. The one she was almost scared to use. Her breath hitched as he gently brought it to the table and poured her a cup. “A miso soup–potato, sea bream and eggplant–”

Mary grimaced.

“Ah, was it a mistake to make–”

“Oh, no! No… I, ah, I’ll eat it. I’m just. My mother would make this dish… I think it was something that everyone made back home. I, ah, I don’t know why… I think Karen was the only one who liked it,” she sighed. She tucked her hair behind her ears, trying to ignore the wet sensation for now, before she continued. “I also don’t know why it was called happy eggplant. It certainly never made me happy–”

A laugh escaped Jin. “I-I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make fun,” he managed to get out. His eyes and nose were crinkled up in a surprisingly cute way. His face was still that shade of pink, though Mary was unsure if it was because of lingering embarrassment or because Jin was the type to go red in the face when he laughed.

She had heard him laugh before but this felt different. Maybe those moments before weren’t genuine or it wasn’t hard enough. She knew she wanted to see it again. “It’s alright.”

“Well, I’ll know for next time to not include eggplant. Or is it specifically miso and eggplant?”

“...B-both. Happy eggplant was glazed–”

“Oh, I can guess what it is. It’s… fascinating to hear regional names for foods. It wasn’t something I grew up with but university and medical school colleagues from around the world would cook all sorts of things. I prefer eggplants pickled though in all honesty.”

Mary grimaced again. “Th-that sounds…” She stopped herself. The man had cooked for her and here she was criticizing his tastes in foods? Her mother surely raised her better than this. “...I-interesting.”

“Would you like to try it?”

“...Er… Y-ye… N-no, I’m, ah, I’m sorry.”

Another peal of laughter escaped the doctor. “It was a joke, it’s alright. Well, I’d be happy if you ate it but feel free to leave it alone. I made a mixed salad as well. It might not be the most filling but at least you won’t be starving.”

A bowl of miso soup was placed in front of her along with a small plate of salad; spinach, sliced strawberries, nuts and tomatoes. It felt clean. Refreshing. Good for the late summer heat. She only had a few bites but she felt her body thanking her for not only feeding her… but for it being healthy. The soup took a little work. In a way, it was easier to eat. She just had to sip at the toasty, savory broth and nibble at the soft vegetables and fish… but that eggplant. Eventually, she bit the bullet and ate a few pieces. The soup itself tasted good and filled her with that warmth she had in the shower.

“I… Thank you, Jin,” she murmured as she placed the bowl down. A few pieces of mushed up eggplant sat at the bottom of the bowl. He seemed happy that she tried it at all. “I disappear for a week and yet you come and, ah, cook for me while I’m sick anyway.”

“I care about my friends, Mary.”

She smiled. “I-I do too, I just…” Words were failing her. “I’m not… really used to being taken care of, I guess. Especially as of late. I’m… kind of. I don’t know. Things have been… A-anyway. Thank you. Erm, I suppose you’ll be wanting to go back to–”

“No,” he said before taking a sip of tea. “I’m staying here until you ask me to leave.”

“Huh?!”

“I wasn’t quite honest with you when I arrived, and I’m sorry for that.” He gently placed the cup down and gave her a look. She wasn’t quite sure what to make of it. It was gentle but firm. Serious as a heart attack. The pounding of her heart grew harder and louder with each second. Anxiety began to worm itself under her skin and burrow into her guts. What was going on? “...I’m worried about you. Physical health is no doubt where my expertise lies but I think even the untrained could pick up that something is wrong…”

His hand floated above his chest and circled around where his heart approximately was. “Here and…” His hand moved to his forehead and gave it a few taps. “Here.”

Mary bit her lip.

Was it that obvious? How long had it been this obvious?

“You… don’t have to tell me if you’re uncomfortable. You don’t have to tell me what’s going on with you as my patient or as my friend but please know that I’m happy to listen to whatever is going on with you. There are a few patients on the island that come in for counseling now and then. If our… relationship…” The word hung in the air for a long moment despite the weight it appeared to carry. Mary felt her stomach flip and flop inside of her. It looked like it had an effect on him too. “Our friendship makes things difficult for you to open up… I could ask Irene or perhaps my new apprentice once he’s here?”

“Ah…”

He waved his hand dismissively. “Of course, this is only if you want to. I’ll just leave it at that for now.”

“Jin… Can. Forgive me… But…”

“Hm?”

“...W-why are you caring so much? I-I know it’s probably because… you’re a doctor and you took an oath. Not to mention our friendship. But… I, um, I just…” A cacophony of sounds, all frustrated sounding, escaped her. Her hands flailed in front of her chest as she tried to find the words but couldn’t. Eventually, she slumped in her seat and sighed.

Jin hummed. “...A few years ago, I was in a similar… state as you right now. I doubt our circumstances were the same.” The corners of his lips twitched. Whether or not he’d smile or frown was anyone’s guess. A sigh escaped him. “...Regardless, I, ah, I experienced an incredible loss…”

“Oh, I’m so sorry…”

“It’s, hm, it’s alright. Forgive me for being vague and hypocritical. I-I don’t mind telling you about it, it’s just…” He paused once again. She watched his eyes flicker around the kitchen as his hands shook in his lap. She swore that she could hear the wheels in his mind spinning like crazy as he tried to think of an excuse. “Well, I’d rather focus on you right now. Hearing about my past is hardly uplifting. Anyway, I didn’t cope with it in the healthiest way. I wanted to isolate myself. I didn’t take care of myself either; eating, cleaning my home or myself, and doing anything but staring out the window was too much work. Yet, I pushed myself and pushed myself…” He sighed. “It was easier to work myself to near death to distract myself than actually try to heal. Any moment I wasn’t working, I was wallowing in these negative feelings. A break doesn’t do you much good after a certain point. Though, in fairness to my grandmother at the time, I didn’t give myself much time to have a break to begin with.”

Mary bit her lip. Did she feel guilty? Frustrated because of how seen she felt and she didn’t want to admit it? Sadness that Jin had felt like she did right now? And for more justified reasons than she did, at that?

“Th-this isn’t me trying to lecture you, Mary. I could very well just be projecting my own emotions and experiences onto you because you appeared to be in a depressive phase.”

“N-no, I. I understand. I… it’s just hard hearing about someone you… care about feeling like you. I wouldn’t wish this on my enemies, if I had any.”

“It might not feel like it right now, but you are a kind person. I don’t know what you may be going through, only vague ideas based on my own experiences, but I know you don’t want to hurt or inconvenience others. There’s a resilience inside you. Though, we can’t be strong all the time. We could all stand to be a little more vulnerable and accepting of others’ help. Or maybe being a little selfish from time to time. In my experience, most people who worry about coming off as selfish… are the furthest thing from that. Does… any of what I’m saying make sense? Please stop me if I’m just rambling about nonsense that doesn’t apply to you.”

Mary slowly nodded her head. “I… I don’t know if I completely believe in the first bit. There’s… a part of me… that’s… erm… Logically, I know these things are true and I would a-agree whole… wholeheartedly if we were talking about literally anyone else. When it’s… about me though. I just… I just can’t…” Her words continuously caught themselves in her throat. It was as if they were digging their claws into her flesh and desperately clung to her insides and tore deep wounds into her neck in an attempt to stay in her head and heart. She swallowed thickly as white hot tears welled in her eyes. Hiccups followed. “I-I’m sorry, Jin. I… I just feel. I feel so pathetic. I-I must look pathetic–”

“Mary.”

“...I-I’m sorry…”

“Don’t apologize. Let it all out if you need to say it.”

Her hands slipped under her glasses. The heels of her palms pressed tight against her eye sockets. Swirls of color–neon green, something between burnt orange and reddish pink, and blackish gray–danced in her vision and obscured the strange ‘tunnels’ and ‘towers’ made of triangular tiled patterns that sometimes appeared when she covered her eyes. Despite how hard she was pressing, tears managed to gush from her eyes and roll down her cheeks in between the tight gaps of her palms and her face. “I-I’m not kind. I’m. I’m not resilient… or st-strong… The whole… the whole reason why I came here…”

Emotions spilled from her mouth. Raw, unwieldy and unfiltered. Everything came out. Gray, his marriage and his child, her childhood friends finding love themselves, how she felt left in the dust and how she was closer to thirty than twenty and had nothing to show for it besides a short story collection that gave her little royalties and not even a single kiss. She stopped. Her face blanched as all sorts of fluids dripped down her cheeks and chin.

“Goddess… Th-that… I-I didn’t… How… pathetic, huh?”

“It’s not pathetic.”

“Y-you don’t… Youdon’thavetolie.”

His hand reached for hers and squeezed it tight. “I promise you that it’s not… Fiction and society as a whole likes to try to sell the idea of having yourself figured out, stable and married as soon as possible. There are people who can live up to around one hundred years old. It’s ridiculous to expect instant success in everything, careers, love, family and whatever else, in your early twenties. I’m in my thirties. I still… don’t know how to take care of myself, in all honesty. My grandmother has to sew my buttons back on… I’m also still scared of the dentist.”

A small chuckle escaped the both of them before Jin pulled his hand away from hers. He got up and put the kettle on the stove again to reheat the water for a fresh pot of tea.

“Mary, you’re still young. We are both still young. It’s probably not the most comforting thing, I know, but you have your life ahead of you. You just moved from your hometown and are truly independent. Maybe the circumstances aren’t your ideal, but I think that there’s plenty of things to be proud of. You have your own house, your own money–though it sounds like you had a lot saved up even before finding a job–and were able to make friends on your own… save for Elli, who I’m sure is ecstatic that you’re here. As for… romantic pursuits, it’s not something that can be forced.

Well… It’d also be inaccurate… to say that sitting around waiting for destiny to drop your soulmate into your lap is the way to go. Sometimes… you need to take a chance on things. I think that’s something you have plenty of experience with now.”

Mary’s lips curled into a small smile. “I… I guess you’re right,” she said as she wiped her tears away.

He returned that smile. “Well, did you still need to talk about things? Or are you feeling better?”

“I… I am feeling a little better, I think.”

“That’s good. Do you mind if I stay longer?”

She shook her head. “Of course not. I… I’d be happy to have you.”

“Alright… You mentioned that you wrote. Is it just short stories or are you working on longer projects?”

“...W-well, I have this fantasy story about an amnesiac named Raguna…”